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James Austen/Transcript
Mallory: Natalie, if you're through with the bathroom, I'd like to make myself presentable. My gentleman carlow will be here shortly. Natalie: Sure, go ahead. Mallory: Thank you so much. Whitney: Isn't Mallory just so refined? Natalie: Yeah. Whitney: I swear, ever since that Downton Abbey marathon… She and her boyfriend are just so classy. Natalie: Yeah. I'm just glad they didn't have a Twilight marathon. Natalie: Oh. Matt: Good evening, dear madams. I am here to call upon the fair miss Mallory. Natalie: I will get her. Mallory! Matt: As always, Natalie, your dulcet tones are like sweet ambrosia to my ears. Natalie: Thank you. Matt: Madam. I hope you'll permit me to say that your beauty never ceases to still both my heart and time itself. Mallory: Good sir, you flatter me with your flowery words, but it's your stately character where my true passion lies. Matt: If we were alone right now, I would kiss your hand. Mallory: Oh my, yes. Natalie: Get it, I'll get it. James: Babe. Natalie: Oh, James. How good of you to come. James: Yeah, babe, didn't you hear me honkin'? The car's still running. Natalie: James, must you be so crass in mixed companies? James: Yeah, sure. Whatever, babe. Matt: It's mister Perry, isn't it? James: Huh, bro. Matt: I don't believe I've had the pleasure of your acquaintance, but permit me to say that, in the future, when in the presence of a lady, you would do well to treat your intended with the respect she inherently deserves. James: Ouch, bro. Natalie: It's alright, James. You can make it up to me at Butch's Beefworld. James: Yeah, can I get the steak in fried butter? Natalie: Yeah. James: Yeah… and the um… escargots. Matt: Such a handsome couple. Mallory: Indeed. Whitney: So, where did you get your dress? Mallory: The 1800's, of course. Whitney: Of course. Whitney: Oh, hello, Jason. Jason: Hey. Whitney: Jason, I thought that perhaps for tonight, we might conduct ourselves in a more civilized manner. Jason: What are you talking about? Whitney: Just for tonight, do you think we can be more like them? Matt: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Mallory: Yes, please. Jason: Fine. Whitney: Oh, yes. Whitney: May I present mister Gray, of... the Gray household. Mallory: Mister Gray, would it be too intimate a query for me to question your intentions, regarding miss Call? She's very dear to me, after all. Whitney: Miss Everton, I find that a very forward inquiry indeed. Mister Gray and I have not yet breached the subject of domestic felicity, as of yet. Mallory: Well, why ever not? Jason: It would… 'Twould... be… an err... of judgment... in my mind...to consider a proposal of that nature at this tender stage of our courtship. Must a man endure continual pressure from his peers, as well as his kin, regarding this most sensitive issue? Matt: I assure you, we mean no ill will, we only raised the subject out of concern for miss Call. Jason: Are you implying that she has need for concern? Mallory: I am implying nothing, though perhaps I have inadvertently struck a tender chord. Apologies. Jason: You may take your apologies, and place them in your… Whitney: Jason! Matt: That is it, sir. I demand satisfaction. Jason: And you shall have it! Matt: Very well. Mallory, if you will oblige us. Jason: Yes, oblige us, Mallory. Wait, are these real guns? Whitney: Go get him, babe. Jason: Babe? Will you turn your back on me, you coward! Jason: They were real. Mallory: So, are we off to the lake then? Matt: Yes, I think so. Mallory: Okay. Category:Season 1